“I have not much to offer You, not near what you deserve. But still I come because Your cross, has placed in me my worth. Oh Christ my king of sympathy, whose wounds secure my peace. Your grace extends to call me friend, Your mercy sets me free. I know I’m weak, I know I’m unworthy to call upon Your name, but because of your love, because of your mercy, I stand here unashamed.” (Starfield)

These words have never meant more to me than they did one chilly night as I lay wrapped up in a blanket staring up at a canvas of stars painted across the San Miguel sky. It’s something about the beauty of the sky, whether it’s a sunset or sunrise, or in this case, stars encompassing the atmosphere that brings me to my knees in awe before the Lord. This song says that although we are weak and incapable of offering to the Lord what He deserves, we have been allowed access before Him, unashamed, because of His cross. This truth brings tremendous freedom to me as I realize in a new way that I am dearly loved by the Lord, and like a father desires good things for his daughter, Jesus desires to bless me with freedom in experiencing the deepest intimacy in my relationship with Him. Freedom comes when we realize that He doesn’t require perfection before we can approach Him. He invites us to come before Him unashamed, exactly as we are.

Living life as a missionary these past few months has been quite a combination of challenges that the Lord has continually used to prove His faithfulness to me. As part of the transition process these past months, I went from working in a position as a nurse with a defined schedule that felt very purposeful to being in an undefined position as a missionary that allows me the opportunity to diligently seek what the Lord wants to do with my schedule. I am thankful for this chance to recognize that regardless of whether I am serving as a nurse or a missionary, my time is the Lord’s, and I want to continue to lay my life down before Him to do what He wants with it. As I look back on these past few months of adjusting, I can see how diligently the Lord has been in allowing me see how important it is that I am faithful in what my mind sees as “small” things in service for Him. In Luke 16:10 Jesus states that “He who is faithful in a very little thing is faithful also in much: and he who is unrighteous in a very little thing is unrighteous also in much.”

As I continue to serve Jesus here in SMA, my heart’s desire is to go forth with confidence in what Jesus has called me, loving the Lord my God with my whole heart and loving my neighbor as myself. I know that the only way that I will be effective in loving people here well is by daily spending time with the one whose love for me is unchanging, allowing HIM to love through me.

These past few weeks have been espeically filled with some defining moments for us as we all work together as a team. Adina and I have had a great time getting to know a couple American girls living here, as well as meeting up and reconnecting with a few friends that she got to know last year! Her and I have also felt honored and have really enjoyed the opportunity to lead the church in musical worhip- Adina with her guitar and me wiht my voice. Please pray that we will continue to be open to ways the Lord wants us to be availiable for outreach to the people in this community of San Miguel, Mexico!
(oh and I almost forgot one of the best parts about these past few weeks.. Adina and I have gotten a scooter!! I have loved every minute of being able to come and go easily and for very cheap (a tank of gas costs about $2- and lasts a wk or more!)


Me and the scooter :)


Adina and I made the mistake of putting the trash outside without a trash can.. at night!




Helping at the after school program in La Palma

52 days and counting...

Wow, I just realized that the last time I updated was nearly a month ago… time flies just as much here in San Miguel as it does back at home I am quickly finding out! I have been meaning to update now for the past several weeks, but obviously have not sat down long enough and spent enough time to do just that! So, I will try to summarize in less than a book what has been happening her in San Miguel and in my heart over these past few weeks!

I must first start out by saying that we now have the newest addition to our team! Adina showed up I think close to 3 weeks ago! Her arrival has brought a sense of completion to the team for the time being, which has been so great for us! Once she arrived we were finally able to sit down and figure out all those little, yet vital details that go along with living together here in San Miguel. As I mentioned before, things just take longer to get done here, and life for me takes more planning; perhaps that’s a good thing! Anyways, as we live and serve together here in SMA, I begin noticing how important it really is to communicate WELL and FREQUENTLY!

What has also accompanied the past few months is a much more detailed schedule. Each week has been filling up quickly. Although I am thankful to be busy and being used here, I also recognize my tendency for business, which has so often in the past taken a vital part of my energy and time, leaving less and less time with My God! So, God has been teaching me about laying these opportunities here before Him and simply waiting for Him to direct in what He desires me to spend my time doing! ABOVE all else and BEFORE anything else, I am created to LOVE MY GOD with my entire heart; this truth has hit me over the past few weeks as I realize how important my time spent with Him really is! I thrive on time spent with the Lord, and I do not want to compromise that time!

If you were to see snapshots of the past few weeks here, you would find me filling time with some of the following things:

I am still taking my Spanish classes 4 mornings a week; I really have been enjoying my time in class learning this new language. I think as I entered this class in the beginning, I questioned my ability to learn Spanish and learn it well. After being in the class now for what has been around 6wks, it has been getting easier! I am finally reaching a point where I can begin to pick out words and phrases in conversation, speak some sentences, and read and understand things! It’s a slow process, but something that I have desired to accomplish and know that only by the Lord has any progress been possible!

On Wednesday afternoons Adina and I have been volunteering with an organization called SOME (So Others May Eat). With this ministry we help serve lunch to some of the poor elderly Mexicans here in San Miguel as well as handing out a can of beans and carton of milk. Not only has this been a blessing to be among this population, it has also been a great avenue to get connected with some of the other volunteers who are mainly English-speaking people! Soon on Thursdays I will be heading out, along with Jamie (the FINO intern) to a nearby village called La Palma, where we will spend the afternoon playing sports and other activities with them! I am excited to begin volunteering with FINO and start having some fun with the kids! (For more information regarding the organization FINO, check out their website at www.finomex.org. Friday mornings we are continuing to visit the residents at the assisted living, Los Labradores, reading to them and starting yesterday we spent time playing games with them after we finished reading. They really have been enjoying the book and yesterday really seemed to have a great time playing UNO. A few Saturdays a month starting in November Mark, Adina, and I will be spending a couple hours helping with a science club for kids somewhere around the ages of 8-12 years old.

Along with the volunteer opportunities we also have been going through a Bible study at Scott and Tammy’s house with some of the attendees from Antioch on Wednesday evenings, and as of last Sunday, Adina and I have been leading worship for Antioch’s church service on Sunday!

So, that’s a bit of a glimpse into the unfolding of the weekly events. With Adina having lived here for nearly a year last year, she has many contacts and friends here that she has been meeting back up with, and I have the advantage of making new friends in this process! Throughout these busy/full weeks, I have continually been reminded of the primary focus of this time spent here in San Miguel: The ministry of building meaningful relationships with people here with the purpose of sharing the only source of True Hope, Jesus! At times this has been a challenging perspective to keep as weeks are busy! However, one word that summarizes what I hope to see when I look back on this period of time in San Miguel is intentionality. I daily long for the Lord to help me live that day with purpose and see a much bigger picture in my mind than here and now! The definition that I really think summarizes our desire with ministry here was stated by Mark today during a team meeting; he said that we want to be “accessible and intentionally opening the way to connect with another person.” I like the dictionary definition of accessible which defines it as “easy to approach, reach, enter, speak with, or use.” People and relationships are important to me regardless of my physical location and being available and accessible to a person as well as being intentional about my relationships and time spent with them is just as important!

Thank you all so much who have been lifting up prayers on my behalf and on behalf of Antioch Community outreach and our ministry in SMA over the past couple months! I honestly can not tell you how much it has meant to receive encouraging emails. This last week the Lord especially overwhelmed me with the amount of encouragement I received from other people! THANK YOU SO MUCH for your part in serving here in San Miguel, because your prayers are an enormous act of service here!

Refinement

Have you ever been in an uncomfortable situation in your past that felt so far outside of your realm of comfort that you wanted to run to familiarity? This most definitely describes the second week for me in San Miguel. As I entered Spanish class for the first time in my life on Monday morning of week two, I realized that I was very much out of my element! As I talked with a couple students from the class, I discovered that the teacher would only be teaching in Spanish. I panicked. I couldn’t remember the last time I had felt so helpless in understanding someone and quite honestly, I wanted to escape. But, no matter how uncomfortable the time would be, I was soon reminded what I had prayed for in regards to this class. I wanted to be put in a situation that would get me connected with other Americans for the opportunity to build relationships with them. It’s English that I understand very well, and here I was surrounded by 4 other students that spoke my own language. I had also been praying that my heart would be teachable and humble in not only this class, but this entire time here in San Miguel. This has been an opportunity for the Lord to refine me in this area! Not only has the Lord been teaching me humility, but a characteristic he is faithfully refining in me is patience. THIS I am severely deficient in.

I have also been taught patience in not just my class but also in every single day as I realize that I cannot get around town nearly as quickly or conveniently on foot or by the bus or even taxi! I have been discovering that the things that seem so simple and make me very independent at home are a bigger deal here. Simple things like ordering food, asking for directions, asking questions, shopping, etc… I took the convenience of it for granted at home. I have had to ask for help here in those simple things. THAT is humbling for me.

Enough about this challenging stuff. The Lord has been so present in my heart- even throughout situations of discomfort! I have quite often been reminded by the Lord how my heart felt as I prepared to come here a few wks ago. I had reached a point that I described as “welcoming the uncomfortableness of change and difficult circumstances.” This meaning that throughout the past 21 years of my life the Lord has allowed situations that have not always been the most comfortable. During those times it was not always easy or clear as to WHY this was happening, but I had enough evidence that the Lord had been faithful in past circumstances, and I knew that He had used them for good in my life. The Lord, the exact definition of LOVE desires to bring good from the hurt in our lives. So, part of my excitement was to see how the Lord was going to “come through” in this period of my life!
As I’m typing this, I’m reminded about the story of Joseph and his response to his brothers at the end of Genesis. His brothers finally discover that the brother they were jealous of and sold many years before now had influence and power in Egypt; enough that they were fearful of being paid back for the wrong they did to him. However, Joseph’s comment to his brothers is what hit me: “As for you, you meant evil against me, but God meant it for good in order to bring about this present result, to preserve many people alive.” Satan can so badly wants to bring evil from difficult circumstances, but God sees clearly the big picture and wants to cause GOOD and GROWTH in our lives as a result.

For the past 3 weeks, Scott and I have visited Los Labradores to read to some of the residents once a week. The book we are currently reading is about a missionary, Bruce Olsen, who has spent his entire life reaching out to the Motilone Indian tribe from Colombia. He started this journey at the age of 19 years old because he felt the call of the Lord! I had read this book last year, but it has touched me in a much different way this time around. The tribe he had a heart for was an unreached tribe since anyone that had attempted to reach them had been killed. The very thing that has blessed me so much through this book is Bruce’s determination to follow the call of the Lord regardless of how uncomfortable the times were. After spending an entire year living with this tribe, he still understood very little of there language. At one point he mentioned that he was so bored with his days that he wished the days would only last 3 hrs and he could sleep the rest of the time. However, this was a man that was committed to the call that God had placed in his heart, to share Jesus Christ with this tribe. The Lord gave him the strength to accomplish this very thing over a course of many uncomfortably, challenging years! What I am getting at with this story is that fact that there is something about knowing that you are in the will of God that nothing can shake you from that place no matter how difficult it may seem; this brings contentment. I want to rest in contentment that comes from being in the presence of the Lord!

Very soon the entire team for this portion of the internship will be down here. This is exciting! Jamie, the intern with the organization FINO made it here over a week ago, and Adina will be here in about a week! I am excited to see what the Lord is going to do through these upcoming months! My continued prayer is that the Lord will reveal HIS vision for all of us, and that we will continue to present the Love of Jesus to the community of San Miguel.

Once again, I appreciate all of you and your commitment to pray for me VERY much! Thank you for your part in the work the Lord is doing!

Well, I have been in San Miguel now for 7 days now, and quite honestly, it has seemed much longer than that. It has been a good week getting reacquainted with San Miguel (SMA), finding my way around and readjusting to the culture and language difference. With the change in surroundings and my sense of comfort being shaken a bit, I realize that more than ever the Lord is calling me to humble myself before Him, that I may be teachable and patient for His Vision for my time here. I have began to realize that my days as I have known them for the past few years have been a cluster of business filled with work and various other activities and forms of ministry, a schedule that seemed to work just fine, yet I left little room for the Lord to change the day’s plans if needed. This is a work the Lord has began in me awhile back and is most definitely continuing here in SMA. Although this week I have had more time on my hands than I usually have apart from vacations, my prayer is that He will direct each day I am here, that HIS vision for my life will be accomplished. That means, I give my expectations of what this time will look like over to the Lord for Him to take care of!

This first week I have been staying with Scott and Tammy Provins, whom I met for the first time the day I arrived in SMA. Scott is the pastor of ABC church. I plan to be with them a few more days and early next week move into the house that the rest of the interns will be staying at. I have appreciated all the tips and insight about SMA that Scott and Tammy have given to help me adjust here. Most of this week was spent doing various things around town with them and a few others.
On Thursday, Scott and I, along with a lady from the church named Connie visited several residents at an assisted living/nursing home called Los Labradores (Los Lab). Connie visits them once a week and reads to them. The residents there are so sweet, and visiting like this is such a great way to encourage these people! So, I hope to make a visit to Los Lab a part of my weekly schedule.

Along with adjusting to Mexico comes the realization of my lack of speaking and understanding Spanish. This became very apparent the first day spent in town. So, for two reasons I am planning on taking a Spanish class 4 days a week for an hour at a time for the next 3 moths. One obvious reason is so that I can get around a lot easier and communicate a lot better here; the second reason I pray is that through this class, it would be an avenue to start building relationships with other English speaking people! Monday is my first day of class, so we shall see how it goes!
There are a couple other opportunities for outreach that I am praying about. Above all, though, the Lord has begun to show me that my expectations for the time here may be different than His expectations, and I want so much to see this time here through His eyes! I know for certain that where the Lord leads a person, He also will bring clarity in His purpose for that time.

So, starting Monday there will be three of us staying at the house, with another on her way at the end of the month! Mark James is an intern with an organization called FINO as well as an elder with ABC church. Jamie is coming from Toronto and will also be an intern with FINO. Adina Feriante is the girl that will be arriving in a few weeks! I have thanked the Lord on many occasions already for the fact that a girl is on her way! Not only that, but Adina was here last year for a good part of a year serving with the church, so it will be great to have her back!
Thank you all for you support in prayer! I really don’t know the best way to tell you how much I have felt so encouraged and empowered by the Lord as a result of those prayers!

Some specific prayer requests in these next few wks would be:
1)A clearer view of the Lord’s vision for the church here and ways that we can be His hands and feet to the community of San Miguel

2)An understanding of opportunities for outreach

3)For my Spanish class: one, that I would really begin to learn Spanish and two, for the relationships with people in the class

4)For the intern house, that it would be a place that people feel welcome, a place that honors the Lord and obviously portrays His love!

Today is the day… Mexico bound! Such a mixture of emotions accompanied this past week and most definitely today! An overlapping theme though is most definitely fear of the unknown. As I have been preparing to go, I have found myself gripping tighter to the familiarity of home and the people there that mean so much to me, yet God keeps calling me to let go of comfort in order to cling even tighter to Himself. So, with a heart filled with anticipation, I boarded the plane, trusting that where the Lord calls, He will equip! As I walked off the plane and that all too familiar fear hit, I was reminded of this truth in Romans 8:31, 37-39 which states,

“..If God is for us, who is against us? ... But in all these things we overwhelmingly conquer through Him who loved us. For I am convinced that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor things present, nor things to come, nor powers, nor height, nor depth, nor any other created thing , will be able to separate us from the love of God , which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.”

It is a reminder to me that I want the truth of God’s word to be hidden in my heart, as I chose not to live by my feelings and emotions but by what God says is true and right!

I have finally arrived at the place I am staying in San Miguel around 1:30am! I am exhausted and I am heading to get some much needed sleep!

Hello Friends!
Well, after several months in prayer, the decision has been made! I am planning on participating in a 9 month internship in San Miguel de Allende, Mexico beginning August 31st. Let me back up by giving a brief overview of the events leading up to this decision, as well as a rough picture of San Miguel and what my time there may look like.

As most of you know, in the fall of last year I spent several months with Great Commandments Ministries (GCM) at a Bible School called Antioch Christian Training School (ACTS). God used this time to not only grow my relationship with Him in a deeper way, but He began to open my heart to more of a willingness to serve Him in whatever way and whatever location He chose. Included in the time with ACTS was a month outreach trip to San Miguel de Allende, Mexico, where our team served alongside the newly developed church, Antioch Bible Community (ABC) with different forms of outreach in the community.

In order to get a better idea of where I will be going, I will attempt to paint a bit of a picture of San Miguel and ABC’s purpose in this community. San Miguel is a city in Guanajuato, Mexico which is located approximately 3 hours north of Mexico City. This city hosts a very unique demographic among the 140,000 people living there. Among this population, 10% are foreign and 70% of these foreigners are from the U.S., drawn to the attractiveness of the city. Since their church plant in February 2009, ABC has had a mission to be a resource for this vast English speaking population.

A few months after returning home from Mexico and after the church planting team arrived home, GCM became aware of a void in some ministries in the church. As families in the church are coming and going for months at a time throughout the year, it has been difficult for certain ministries such as children’s ministry, youth ministry, or worship leading to be permanently filled. With this knowledge, they began to form an internship with plans to send a group of people willing to assist in those needs of the church. After months spent in prayer regarding this opportunity, I began to feel the Lord speak to my anxious, analytical heart that this was the opportunity He was presenting for me to allow faith to take action in my life. I recently heard the idea that God doesn’t want to use us in spite of our weaknesses or limitations, but because of our limitations. To me, this spoke volumes because it’s a reminder that I was created with limitations in order for the Lord, rather than myself, to receive praise for HIS work! Although I have a bit of an idea of the needs in the church, the specific role and ministries I will be apart of will become more apparent once I spend time getting established in San Miguel!

All of this to say: my main goal in sharing my heart and this journey I am on is simply to request support in prayer for the duration of the 9 months in Mexico and the last few weeks leading up to it. Although I feel confident of the direction the Lord is leading me, it often seems unattainable and a bit overwhelming. It would mean so much to me to not only receive encouragement in this time away but also stay connected to the friendships established back at home. So, please let me know if you will be supporting me in prayer, and I would love to keep posted on your life as well!

The cost for the interns to live in Mexico is quite cheap (an estimate of $300-500 per month), as the Lord has provided a place for the interns to live, without any cost for rent; this leaves the main expenses being utilities, food, and travel! This is a huge blessing, as I will most likely have no form of income throughout the time there. If you feel led to support financially (this is tax deductible), a one time or monthly check should be made out to GCM, with my name in the note section and sent to GCM at 71 Dilley Rd Tieton, WA 98947.

Once again, know that I so greatly appreciate your prayers, as that is the most important form of support! The Lord bless you all in the journey you are on!



Over looking San Miguel


A typical looking street in San Miguel


The girls from my ACTS session while in San Miguel