Once again I sit down to type an update... and I don’t know where to begin! Too much to say; I will try to be somewhat brief, but I want to be detailed enough in faithfully sharing the work of the Lord since my last update!
I will start out by saying that these past 6 weeks have been completely different than I imagined them to be, but as Ephesians 3:20 says, He “who is able to do far more abundantly beyond all that we ask or think”... it basically summarizes it all! The theme that I can put over these past few weeks would be recognizing deeply for the first time the FREEDOM that comes in believing by faith that the Spirit of the Lord dwells within, meaning: “The Lord is the Spirit, and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is FREEDOM!” This verse has had an entirely new and amazingly exciting meaning for me at this point!
Let me rewind a few weeks back and share a bit of the Lord’s process in bringing my heart to this point. As I shared in my last update, the one thing that started this transformation in my heart was when the Lord allowed me to get a glimpse of the way He feels towards the jealousy and competitiveness that i have harbored in my life for so long. It was like once the Lord knocked down the wall of pride that I had up in defending this sin, He was finally Free to do His work of complete transformation and gently revealing other sins in my life! I began to take a look back at the past year or more and realized that I had began to build up a wall between the Lord, in many ways questioning His Word and His perfect Character- who He really is for Me! In fact, as I have had time to process all of this the past few weeks, I have also come to the conclusion that I believe much of reasons why i was so quick to compete or be jealous of someone was because I lacked the trust that Jesus has an abundant life for me, and His plans for me are Good (Lamentations 3:25). You see, I had for so long looked at people that were in the very situations that I wanted to be in and basically told God that I believed all these good things He was accomplishing in their lives were for everyone else besides myself! Now that right there is some selfish thinking, but I wonder how many other people unknowingly struggle with this sin of jealousy/competitiveness because of this lack of Trust in God’s very character of Goodness and Gentleness in providing so faithfully for us, His Children?!
So, as I began recognizing the state I was in of questioning the Lord’s very character and realizing some of the sins that have been hidden away in my heart, I began to feel the Lord slowly tearing down the wall of pride in my heart; for so long this wall had held me back from vulnerably exposing the humanness that resided in my heart. I didn’t want anyone to see the authenticity of my heart, because after all, I had grown up in a good Christian family and had been a Christian for a good part of my life. “What a bad witness it would be to admit these sins, I thought.” However, in this process of beginning to not only confess to myself and the Lord, but also to other people, I can testify to the healing that is proclaimed in James 5:16: “Confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed”.
One particular Sunday a few weeks ago, Scott, the pastor of Antioch Community Outreach was sharing about the fact that there very well may have been some people there that day that has always or for a period of time has been loving Jesus and claiming His saving power over their life, but never FULLY permitting Him to have complete Lordship over every area of their life, claiming Him as Savior AND Lord of their life. I believed that I was one of those people Scott was talking about; I realized specifically for my life this meant that Jesus was calling me to submit myself to obeying the very principles that He asks of me as His follower- and to replace the very lies of satan that I have believed in regards to my sins with the TRUTH of God’s Word that sets us Free (“ In reference to your former manner of life, you lay aside the old self, which is being corrupted in accordance with the lusts of deceit, and that you be renewed in the spirit of your mind, and put on the new self, which in the likeness of God has been created in righteousness and holiness of the truth.” Eph. 4:22-24) For me, this day was a day to completely recommit my entire self over to the Lordship of Jesus Christ, and quite honestly, it felt like a rebirth of my life!
This work of transformation is far from being complete, but the Lord is daily showing me His faithfulness in offering Freedom in many areas.These works of freedom include Freedom to live and enjoy the Lord for all He wants to be in my life! Freedom in transparency and honesty in relationships, including my relationship with the Lord. Freedom to REST in the Lord with an unwavering hope and trust that He is my Father, and His love for me is beyond imagining! Freedom to love other people unselfishly as a response to the liberty experienced in my relationship with Jesus! Freedom to embrace each moment with joy and excitement in living this life NOT on my own, but with the satisfaction of knowing who holds my tomorrow in His hands! An immense freedom to be the person Jesus has taken time to craft me into.
I share the very work of the Lord in my life over the past several weeks for several reasons, those being to bring glory to Jesus in proclaiming His faithfulness to His children, as well as wanting to proclaim before the world in a new way the Freedom and newness done ONLY by the work of the Spirit of Christ living and actively working within. I also share this in hopes that Jesus may use this testimony of His faithful act of freedom to encourage someone else in the very same state I found myself in.
In the meantime, I am here in Mexico until the beginning of May, serving in the church and spending time building new relationships and building on relationships previously established! I feel so honored to have had these months to discover that the Lord has been pursing an entirely more intimate relationship with me than I had been experiencing! I have been so blessed to be part of many avenues of service within the church and in the community of San Miguel- all with the motivation to allow the authenticity of my relationship with this love named Jesus to overflow from my life! I ask that you please join in praying for Antioch Community Outreach and the believers who are faithfully committed to serving the Lord and sharing His love with many of their non-believing friends in the community of San Miguel, Mexico.
"The LORD your God is in your midst, A victorious warrior. He will exult over you with joy, He will be quiet in His love, He will rejoice over you with shouts of joy.”
Blessings and Abundant life to you!
Kelley
